Our electric utility company has decided, for reasons not quite transparent to me, to provide us with periodic infographics like the one above, illustrating how poorly we are managing our consumption of electricity relative to our neighbors. This pisses me off, and I’m not really sure why.
My first reaction, politically incorrect as it will appear to my “green” friends who nobly seek to guard the earth’s finite resources, was along the lines of “Screw you. I have paid my bills on time for the past twenty years. That makes me one of your best customers. You should be giving me a volume discount.”
Upon further reflection, I began to question the utility’s motives. Like tobacco companies that sponsor “don’t start smoking” campaigns, it strikes me as more than a bit disingenuous that this particular company is beseeching me to purchase less of its product. Are we not operating in a capitalist economy? Don’t more sales translate to more profits?
To discern the motive behind any company’s actions, one must follow the money. I am imagining the internal PR machine within National Grid’s corporate bureaucracy, calculating the ROI of a “go green” campaign. How many top-line revenue dollars can be sacrificed, to be offset by gains in other channels such as fees for “energy audits,” or the free advertising that flows from positive publicity about a socially altruistic, environmentally friendly, tree-hugging energy retailer?
Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily, but please, National Grid, spare me the sanctimonious messaging; you are in business to make money. Period. If you can save the earth while making more money, it’s gravy; but no private sector, for-profit company operates on altruism. I know this. Don’t insult me.
I actually found this particular infographic to be pretty humorous. Wow, we really are bad people, aren’t we? Just look at that blue line – we are off-the-charts bad! So, as I tend to do when I come across humorous visuals, I posted it to Facebook. Then things got interesting. Three of my friends commented within a couple of hours that they had received virtually the same helpful notice from their electric utilities. One friend, a woman in another state, with a different electricity supplier, opined that electric companies must send the same sort of message to everyone, as a “scare tactic.” I’m not sure why they would want to scare us, but they may well want to aggressively sell us their “energy saving products.” Hmmm.
A couple of friends suggested specific steps we can take to reduce our consumption – install fluorescent bulbs, get an ‘energy audit’; well-meaning suggestions, but I’m pretty certain that these moves wouldn’t make a significant dent in our monthly bills. The truth is, I’m pretty sure I understand what’s driving our consumption: we are pigs.
I was raised in a very frugal household, taught at an early age to turn the lights off when leaving a room. I’ve tried to instill this habit in my now-grown daughters, to no avail. A couple of decades of my ranting notwithstanding, they still seem blissfully unaware that a light switch can be used to turn a light off, as well as on. And that’s just the tip of the energy iceberg.
To be clear: I’m not putting that nasty blue bar on the chart solely on the shoulders of my family. I, too, am a pig. I refuse to be uncomfortable in my own home. That means I use the heat and the central air conditioning whenever necessary to be comfortable. It has ever happened – albeit rarely – that I’ve used both in the course of the same day.
I will not do the Jimmy Carter sweater thing. I’ll economize in other ways – I’m probably wearing the same jeans right now that I had on the last time you saw me, however many years ago that may have been – but I will not compromise on thermal comfort. I know people in this town who live in seriously large, elegantly decorated McMansions, who keep their thermostats at 64 degrees all winter. They must be my green-bar “efficient neighbors.” Good for them; I'm just glad I don't have to live there.
Our house is tight and well-insulated. We had it built, so I know what’s in the walls. Our systems are modern and well maintained. The truth is, we don’t have a “problem” to solve. We’re just pigs – fat, dumb, happy, comfortable, and paid in full.
But kids, really – please turn the damned lights off. Now.
